Edward Scissorhands "verses" Wolverine

I saw a trailer for the upcoming movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Which made me think of the old Johnny Depp movie Edward Scissorhands. Oddly enough.

So I'll propose an odd fusion here - someone should make a movie entitled Scissorhands "verses" Wolverine. Both title roles to be played by Johnny Depp!

Seriously, now

These two characters are polar opposites, hands down (pun intended). For one thing, Edward doesn't have any superpowers, which causes Wolverine to scoff at their first meeting. But that lack turns out to be unimportant. As the original movie's tagline declares, Edward Scissorhands is "the story of an uncommonly gentle man." Which is where the "verses" part of the title comes in - that wasn't a typo; I did not mean to say "versus."

In my vision of how Edward turns out, he learns how to express himself in a consistently poetic manner, much as do all of the characters (all of the time) in a 2004 movie called Yes, directed by Sally Potter. The poetic format in that brilliant film being iambic pentameter.

The unlikely alliance

"Don't always fight your enemy - convert him, so that he may fight alongside you or...dwell in peace with you" - spoken by Edward to Wolverine.

These two are a study in contrasts - one being a hyperviolent with memory and revenge problems; the other, a very vulnerable man who remembers too much, inspired to develop a way with words with which to "handle" people which compensates for his scissorhands which can't handle people at all.

The idea of having Depp play both roles is to emphasize the underlying theme: Man is at war, or at best only peacefully coexists, with his feminine side. My sense of Depp, based on his androgynous portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow (in Pirates of the Caribbean), is that he's perfectly suited to play both characters, which are "really" both aspects of one man (and, therefore, of men in general).

Although it will be a real actor's challenge for Depp to portray Wolverine, I think he's up to it.

The story

The basic plot revolves around a chance meeting of these two, as Wolverine makes a (pun alert) stab at recovering his memory. This scene could take place in an "Asian bar drinking shots and trying to remember who he is."* In this bar is also Scissorhands, who is not there to lose himself (find himself?) in drink but simply to observe, only ever revealing his hands when he feels this to be beneficial.

The action takes place when Wolverine is attacked by forces and for reasons unknown to him. Edward basically tags along as a sympathetic ear, though definitely not as a coequal warrior.

Key line of dialogue, said by Edward to Wolverine: "Both of us were made, manufactured, or manipulated by others. To a large degree, that's true of all men. But your greatest power is the ability to change yourself, not necessarily in defeating others."

Coup de grace

There are two definitions of coup de grace, which illustrate the opposite ways each character could personify the literal translation, which is "blow of mercy."

• a death blow, especially one delivered mercifully to end the suffering of a wounded creature.

• the last of a series of events which brings about the end of some entity (in this case, the entity is the mindless violence shaped into the form of a human being).

The end-scene shows that "last of a series of events" as our two heroes talk, after having another narrow escape.

Wolverine: "Is that it, then? We're just put here to survive, even though we don't know why or who our tormentors are?"

Edward: "Yes, in part, but also to find out who we really are. And to help you with that, I give you this bouquet of roses. Take a good, long, hard, patient look. We've got all day."

Edward then hands Wolverine a bouquet of paper shapes which his scissor hands exquisitely crafted, saying, "This really is just for you, only you can understand it and learn from it. No...keep looking."

The context of the bouquet

As these two get to know each other, a recurring action is Edward giving Wolverine a sculpted cutting and asking, "Does this mean anything to you?" ("How about this?" "Or this?") To which he's usually interrupted by enemies attacking or rudely dismissed by Wolverine, "You've got to be kidding."

Each bouquet is a form of mandala which, when stared at in a meditative trance, is supposed to help us reach our inner self, which is far more important than any efforts to conjure up mere memories.

Conclusion

If, in all "seriousness," Sean Penn can be cast as Larry in a remake of The Three Stooges, then casting Depp in the roles I'm proposing can be taken as seriously.

Steven Searle was a candidate for U.S. President in 2008:

"Go ahead, make a movie of verses, if you can. As always, I waive all intellectual property rights (see Open Invitation, below). Don't know who said this, but it resonates with me: "Show me a man who says ‘This is mine,' and I'll show you a thief" - Steve.

Founder of The Best Party Available

* http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458525/synopsis

Contact me: bpa_cinc@yahoo.com

Open Invitation: I hereby waive all copyright protection for any material I've posted on Zaadz/Gaia with these exceptions: I reserve the right to disseminate this material, claim authorship credit for it and any compensation I can negotiate. However, if anyone wishes to use these essays, they are free to do so. I do not require that advance permission be obtained, that I be paid any royalties, or that I receive author's credit or even be notified of intent to use. I truly want anyone "out there" to feel free to use these essays, in original or modified form, for whatever purposes they deem worthy.